Funny Christmas Definitions

• December is the most popular month for nose jobs . . . don't worry, that's not what I got you for Christmas.


• If Santa doesn't have to age, then why is he old? ~~ He only appears to be old. He's really an undercover kid.


• What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? ~~ Horn-aments.


• How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb? ~~ Eight--one to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down.


• Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? ~~ Elfis


• Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.


• How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct? ~~ On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.


• A definition of Christmas: The time when everyone gets "Santa"-mental.


• A Christmas thought: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.


• Definition of Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.


• Once you've got your Christmas cards taken care of, just for the heck of it here are some suggestions of fun things to do during the holidays, if you get bored . . . big people need to have fun, too.


• Get a job as a mall Santa and tell all the children you're tired of milk and cookies and you'd prefer beer and pretzels instead.


• Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. After the sun goes down, repeat every day until Christmas.


• Set up a kiosk at your local mall and sell timeshares at the North Pole. Show potential buyers Santa's house and tell them you have Pole view and lake view condos available.


• Sell vials of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns. Include sympathy cards.


• Stand in line, sit on Santa's lap, and tell him what you DON'T want for Christmas.

From: goarticles.com

Christmas Quotes

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
~ Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), American author and humorist

"Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree."
~ Charlotte Carpenter

"Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'."
~ Bing Crosby (1904-1977), American singer and film actor

"Something about an old-fashioned Christmas is hard to forget."
~ Hugh Downs (1921- ), American newscaster

"At Christmas, all roads lead home."
~ Marjorie Holmes, American writer

"The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!"
~ Charles N. Barnard, American author, travel writer

"Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone."
~ Charles Schulz (1922-2000), American cartoonist 'Peanuts'

"As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is."
~ Eric Sevareid (1912-1992), American newscaster

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more."
~ Dr. Seuss (1904-1991), American author of children's books. From 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas'

"He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree."
~ Sunshine Magazine

"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall."
~ Larry Wilde, author 'The Merry Book of Christmas'

"Which Christmas is the most vivid to me? It's always the next Christmas."
~ Joanne Woodward (1930- ), American film actress


From: allthingschristmas.com

Famous Movie Quotes

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds .... That's what you've given me and that's what I hope to give to you forever.
- The Notebook

I would rather fight with you than make love to anyone else.
- The Wedding Date

I guarantee that we'll have tough times and I guarantee that at some point one or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine,
I'll regret it for the rest of my life cause I know in my heart you're the only one for me.
- Runaway Bride

It's a wonderful thing, as time goes by, to be with someone who looks into your face,
when you've gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like.
- The Bachelor

Hearts will never be practical, until they are made unbreakable.
- The Wizard of Oz

I don't wanna need you, 'coz I can't have you.
- Bridges of Madison County

The being in love is better than the falling in love.
- Simply Irrestible

I would rather spend one lifetime with you - than face all the ages of this world alone.
- Lord of the Rings

Truth is, I gave my heart away along time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.
- Sweet Home Alabama

You are the only person that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.
- The Hot Chick

I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
- When Harry Met Sally

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is ther is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.
- Meet Joe Black

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.
- City of Angels

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
- Love and Death

You can't express every feeling that you have every moment that you have them.
- When Harry Met Sally

The things that people in love do to each other they remember, and if they stay together it’s not because they forget, it’s because they forgive.
— Indecent Proposal

I like you very much. Just as you are.
— Bridget Jones’s Diary

Maybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another.
— Emma

For you, a thousand times over.
— The Kite Runner

My real purpose was to see you, and to judge, if I could, whether I might ever hope to make you love me.
— Pride and Prejudice

Don't forget. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy...asking him to love her.
- Notting Hill

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
- Ten Things I Hate About You

Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever.. and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you.
- Meet Joe Black

You are what I never knew I always wanted
- Fools Rush In

When they ask me what I liked best, I'll tell them it was you.
- City Of Angels

If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just... passes you by...
- My Best friend's Wedding

There Are Millions Of People In This world, But In The end It All Comes Down To One
- Crazy/Beautiful

I always thought that there was this one perfect person for everybody in the world, you know, and when you found that person the rest of the world kind of magically faded away, and, you know, the two of you would just be inside this kind of protective bubble, but there is no bubble, I mean if there is you have to make it, I just think life is more than a series of moments, you know, we can make choices, and we can choose to protect the people we love, and that's what makes us who we are and those are the real memories
- Forces of Nature

You know, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this gift. And you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time.
- Never Been Kissed

There is a place You can touch a woman That will drive her crazy.Her heart.
- Milk Money

I love you without knowing how, why, or even from where
- Patch Adams

The only feeling of real loss Is when you love someone More than you love your self.
- Good Will Hunting

I believe there's a place where the restless souls wander, burdened by the weight of their own sadness. They wait for a chance to set the wrong things right. Only then can they be reunited with the ones they love. Sometimes, a crow shows them the way; because sometimes, love is stronger than death.
- City of Angels

All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us.
- The Wonder Years

I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are.
- Chasing Amy

...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there.. between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me.
- Chasing Amy

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- Annie

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?
- Casper

If the people we love are stolen from us,The way to have them live on, is to remember them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.
- The Crow

In these dreams I've loved you so, that by now I think I know what it's like to be loved by you. I will love being loved by you.
- The King and I

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.
- The Notebook

Starting break up lines

1. We need to talk.
2. It's not your fault. It's me.
3. I've lied.
4. Do you remember when I’ve said everything is alright?
5. You are like a sister/brother to me.
6. I think we would be better off friends.
7. I don't love you any more.
8. Do you really want to know why I go out to dinner with my assistant?
9. Have you always been so boring?
10. Give me back my keys.

From:poemofquotes.com

Top 10 Hollywood Movie Proposals

"I'm gonna treat you so good, you're never gonna let me go." - Pretty Woman

"May I ask your name, my lady? Or perhaps angels have no names, only beautiful faces." - A Knight’s Tale

"Whatever you choose, we will always have each other." - Anastasia

"It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other." - Good Will Hunting

"Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime, and never let go till we're gone" - Titanic

"I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is." - Forest Gump

"You will see a lot of things, but they will mean nothing to you, if you lose sight of the thing you love." - At First Sight

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."- Moulin Rouge

"Every step I took since the moment I could walk was a step toward finding you." - Message in a Bottle

"Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!" - Moulin Rouge


From:Mydearvalentine.com

Types of Hugs

Etiquette
- Always respect another person's space.
- Ask permission when you need or want to share a hug [unless you're already on such intimate terms with the huggee that you've established that hugging is acceptable w/out permission].
- There is a difference between a warm, friendly hug and a passionate embrace - please hug accordingly.
- A hug is a gentle embrace - not the Heimlich.

Techniques
Some huggers pat while hugging. Others simply hold and embrace. Gently rub the back of your huggee and they'll be back for more! [Unless this is a first hug, in which case gently rubbing can be misconstrued as creepy space-invading!]

Me-Hug
A great way to start the day and whenever you need or want a hug. Warm-up your hugging muscles with a real good stretch by wrapping your arms around yourself!

Hand-Hug (aka the Reserved Hugger's Hug)
This is the most common and frequently shared hug... a simple handshake.

Side-to-side Hug (aka the Buddy Hug)
Huggers stand or sit next to one another, embracing around the waist or shoulders.

A-frame Hug
Huggers stand about a foot and a half a part, bend at the waist.... only the shoulders touch as you embrace! [May also include a kiss on one or both cheeks. This is the most common, and acceptable, form of hugging in social settings.]

Back-to-front Hug
Gently wrap your arms around huggee's waist and embrace. Always let your huggee know you are behind them. [A very sweet way to let your lover know he/she is special. Especially when the hugger's head is gently laid upon the huggee's back.]

Cheek-to-cheek Hug
This hug requires no arms. Simply face your huggee and press your cheeks together. Face the same way for the Kodak Moment Hug. [Oftentimes accompanied by a hand placed on the opposite cheek of the hugging cheek. This one takes place often among family or close-friends gatherings.]

Custom-tailored Hug
To insure a high-quality hug, whenever a taller hugger hugs a smaller huggee. The taller hugger should bend at the knees to come eye level with the huggee and embrace. [Unless it's a hug between two lovers; in which case, the shorter of the two often finds it a great comfort to rest the head on the taller person's chest.]

Bear Hug
This is a full body hug. Hugger and huggee are toe-to-toe and belly-to-belly. [If you can slip a piece of paper in bertween the huggers or see any glimpse of light, it isn't being done properly!]

Man Hug
It starts with the ritual grasping of the right hands. The two men then pull each other in with a loud, "AAAAYYYY" or "WASSUP?!" Only the shoulders and chest touch, with the still-clasped hands bound together between the chests, thereby creating the all-important buffer zone. The hug is punctuated by copious back slapping while the two are still in an embrace. The hug is concluded with much nervous shifting, laughter and louder than normal banter.


Author: Jen(posted in yahoo answers)

Types Of Kisses

Below you will find a variety of kiss types. If you find some that catch your fancy, feel free to try them :-)

Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.

Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.

Eye Kiss - Hold your partner's head with both hands and slowly move their head in the direction you wish your kiss to go... then slowly kiss up towards your partner's eyes and give them a tender kiss on top of their closed eyes.

Eyelid Kiss - While your partner is resting/sleeping with eyes closed, very very gently kiss the spot right below their browbone. A very intimate kiss.

Finger Kiss - While laying together gently suck on their fingers. This can be very seductive and pleasurable.

Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.

Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

Freeze Kiss (or Melt Kiss) - Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.

French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss".

Fruity Kiss - Take a small piece of fruit and place between your lips (juicy fruits such as grapes, strawberries, small pieces of pineapple or mango are ideal). Kiss your partner and nibble one half of the piece of fruit while they nibble the other until it breaks in half, allowing the juice to run into your mouths.

Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

Hostage Kiss - Cover your lips with tape and get your love's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say tell them: "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss your love passionately!

Hot and Cold Kiss - Lick your partner's lips so that they're warm, and then gently blow on them. The sudden cold blast makes for a sensual explosion, and they will often try it on you next, as well as get very passionate.

Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.

Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX.

Lick Kiss - Just before kissing, gently run your tongue along you partners lip whether it be the top or bottom one depending on the position of your lips. Very sensual.

Lip Sucking Kiss - When kissing gently suck on their lower lip. This can be very exciting.

Neck Nibble Kiss - Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

Reverse Lips Kiss - It involves standing above your lover and kissing them from over their head. This way, each kisser can take the hyper-sensitive bottom lip of thier lover in their mouths, and GENTLY draw blood to the surface of the lip by nibbling and sucking. A very sensuous, connecting kiss.

Searching The Cavern - Use the lips and tongue to gently tickle and kiss your lover's navel. Vary speeds and stroke to change sensation. Invigorating and intoxicating.

Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.

Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.

Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

Teaser Kiss - Starting on the forehead, a sweet short kiss on lips, then move up the arms up to her hand, kiss her hand, then come back up her arm, to her face and then lightly kiss her lips till she wants a passionate kiss.

The Buzzing Kiss - Gently place your lips against your lover's neck , behind their ear. Now, send a shudder through their skin by gently growling and humming, vibrating your lips and cheeks as you do so. Move up and down the neck, over the bones of the face and lips. Stimulating and erotic when done correctly.

The Whipped Cream Kiss - Dip your finger into some cool whip or whipped cream of your choice. Lick it off slowly, then embrace your partner and kiss them deeply letting their tongue slip over yours for a wonderfully sweet kiss. It's very seductive and passionate.

Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.

Trickle Kiss - Take a sip of a favourite drink and trickle it slowly into partner's mouth while kissing.

Tongue Sucking - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy :-)

Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.

Wake Up Kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up!

Virtual Kiss - For Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-*

From: romantic-lyrics.com